In short: everything that we think was on the right had moved to the left, and everything that was on the left had moved to the right.

Voja Žanetić

We all know the story of how the Indians (politically correct – Native Americans) got their name. Which is no reason not to repeat it one more time.

Having reached the shores of America, Christopher Columubs thought that he had succeeded in reaching India, which is where he was headed. So he persistently called the inhabitants of the place where he had arrived, instead of India, “Indios”, refusing to understand that he had discovered a new territory and achieved greater success than intended. Does this have anything to do with today’s topic on our portal, which considers issues of the left and the right in the Vicinity, you ask? Well, it turns out it does.

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If a contemporary political Columbus were to head in the direction of today’s political left and right Indias, he would come across new territories, created in the seismic earthquakes of the end of the 20th and the first fifth of the 21st century. So, the left.

Landing on the shores of an exotic newly created political territory, on the left side of our ideological “globe”, Columbus would encounter strange political natives who deal with marginal issues, because they don’t have too many problems with capitalism. He has, meanwhile, become downright cool. And there is no working class either, hence the “coolness”. The workers are namely divided into those who live in China, those who are not in China and work without contracts, insurance and rights, and those who have passed up into the conservative middle class because they, for example, supervise the work of robots. And the robots work either way, supervised or not.

Now, the right. You head towards where it once was and in front of you stands an unknown ideological continent, inhabited by characters who have a hard time defending national rights because the nation is well supplemented by immigrants and they are in a joint search for work and better pay. It’s also hard to defend tradition, because it doesn’t succeed on Tik Tok, and everyone is on it. Plus, communism has collapsed in the meantime, so the fight against it makes no sense either. So our right-wing “Indians” are mostly busy with threats towards “our way of life”, whatever that means. And yes, it should not be forgotten that this New Right will make us great again. We used to be great, I suppose.

In short: everything that we think was on the right had moved to the left, and everything that was on the left had moved to the right. Columbus drills a hole in Santa Maria and abandons further voyage. And it’s a shame, because there’s still so much to discover, if you just travelled a bit further, to the slightly more radical left and right. That is inhabited by – let’s say on the left – fighters for the rights of swimmers who identify as female swimmers. Or on the right, fighters against the round Earth and being chipped with Antichrist’s QR code – he is “everywhere”, so it does make sense that the Antichrist left it there, and everywhere.

God save us.

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Somehow we make it to our Vicinity, provincially willing to follow world fashion, even political. The local version of Columbus’ ideological research requires a few amendments:

Our Vicinity will have the right and the left without any members and without any voters, because they will have all gone to Germany and Sweden.

But voters aren’t even necessary, because power should be drawn by lot. The winner goes to the opposition, and the loser is to figure out what to do in the next four years without any money, energy and goods in stores. The semi-finals, also done by drawing winners, could determine who is right and who is left; who comes to power only for the sake of power, and who is offended because we are stupid and didn’t bring them to power. Although, it doesn’t have to be the lottery, it doesn’t matter who will draw what.

Because it’s the same kind of luck.

The greatest one.